I don’t know if it came as a surprise today. In a way it was. And then again it wasn’t. What was that? The word “expectations”.<\/p>\n
That word covers so many aspects of life. Often it can turn into negativity before we know it. What was that great novel by Charles Dickens? Great Expectations. That’s one form of it. And then there’s the statement “What did I expect?” Kind of negative. Then there are things we look forward to. Our expectations. And often that can do the same thing; turn out negative.<\/p>\n
But there’s another set of expectations. And this is the one that can really get someone like me in big trouble. The expectations I have for me. What is it I think I should be doing? My expectations of self. If I find that I’m expecting myself to be deeply spiritual, I may end up being disappointed and guilty. Feelings of lacking forgiveness for myself.<\/p>\n
Talking to an young man, who is about a week away from two years sober, he was upset, anxiety ridden, fearful, and confused. Something most of us have gone through in those early years. I talked to him about his expectations. To get back into reality. To stay in the day. That time takes time and to hang in and not give up. To continue to foster hope from which faith grows, as we begin to receive the grace given to us.<\/p>\n
Often expectations can lead to resentments, when we don’t get what we expected. What we had dreamed up in our heads. Then our feelings, our emotions take over. Not just disappointment can overwhelm us, but anger.<\/p>\n
That’s where we need to begin to learn how to sidestep our feelings. To begin the process of growing up. Maturing emotionally, as Bill W. wrote about. Not just him, but spiritual writers and psychiatrists and psychologists. Because, when we let our feelings get a grip on us, they take over our minds and our actions. As the BB points out, that’s when we may get cut off from the sunlight of the spirit. And that’s when we might drink again. And for me to drink is to die. I need to remember that and do what I have learned in here.<\/p>\n
Of course that’s where I need to remember to be aware of what it is I’m doing. How easy it is for someone like me to forget and get caught up in things I really don’t need in my life. I need to pay attention. That’s part of the spiritual process for me. And that’s why I need to go to meetings, to share with others. And that’s where that Tenth Step comes in. And the Second and all the rest.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I took some time to look at that word “expectations”. I had been given warnings by my sponsor and others through the years how I should deal with this word. The best one was to stay in the day and not go wandering off into the future. All I have to do is just remember how it was when I was out there drinking with a mind full of expectations of some sort. And the negative consequences which were the result.<\/p>\n
All of this brings me back to what I need to think about at a time like this. Sobriety. How to stay sober and to put this program into action in my life. To maintain hope and grow in faith in my Higher Power that I will be guided to wherever it is I need to go. To turn my “plans” over to Him. What will happen will happen. It’s not up to me. All I can do is do what I’m supposed to and let go of the results.<\/p>\n
Anyway, just taking time to think about what it is I need to do to stay sober this day. And to be grateful for all that I have been given. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t know if it came as a surprise today. In a way it was. And then again it wasn’t. What was that? The word “expectations”. That word covers so many aspects of life. Often it can turn into negativity before we know it. What was that great novel by Charles Dickens? Great Expectations. That’s … <\/p>\n