I often think of the human condition. That’s what the whole world suffers from. And alcoholics like myself have it in spades. That cloying ego, the pride, the justification of emotions, and on and on. The reason I’m saying all of this is that I have talked to a lot of people lately and they all agree with that image of us alcoholics.<\/p>\n
Ego mania. We can justify anything we want to. My pride, which is out of kilter always, wants me to tell myself that I’m right, when I lose my temper, and can say that it’s all right to have this or that resentment. And no wonder I’m fearful that in the next week I may or may not get something I want. The waiting and the projection can drive me crazy, but I can justify that also, because isn’t that what we all do? Or not?<\/p>\n
Thank my Higher Power I had the sponsor I did have. He was able to help me to begin to change what I desperately needed to change. One of them was to stay in the day and not wander backwards or forwards. Not to project or loll around in the black pit of the past. To live in the now and to stay aware of what is going on and not be surprised. Does it work? For the most part. When I forget, which happens from time to time, I can find myself sliding one way or the other. And then I have to stop, and as my sponsor said, pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep on going. And I have learned to do that over time. Often it helps to talk to someone else and let them help me get back on track.<\/p>\n
I have read and believe that none of us is going to work this program perfectly. Nor the spiritual life. I’m still human and have my faults. Have not worked Six and Seven perfectly. I either forget those Steps or stumble over my wants, my likes and dislikes. Often I don’t even realize that until it happens and I find that out in the Tenth where I have fallen short again and again. But it’s a lot better than it was when I came into this program. Far better.<\/p>\n
All this began with a moment of total surrender to my being powerless over alcohol and my unmanageable life. No question in my mind what was wrong with me and what I desperately had to do. Either that or die. Every time I think about that impossible dream I believe it’s me even being sober. When I think about the type of drunk I was, how bad it all was, it’s unbelievable that I’m here sober and have been living a sober life all this time since I walked through these doors.<\/p>\n
And none of that was my doing. I came to believe it was my Higher Power, who was responsible for opening the door for me. It’s my responsibility to do whatever is necessary to stay sober. Like working this program, and practicing these principles in all of my affairs. These spiritual principles, which are the solution to what is wrong with me and all of us.<\/p>\n
Anyway I was thinking about the human condition, my ego, my pride, my concerns, my feelings, and what has helped me to begin to turn all of this around. Time takes time, but over time things have definitely changed for the better. It’s all about sober living and thinking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I often think of the human condition. That’s what the whole world suffers from. And alcoholics like myself have it in spades. That cloying ego, the pride, the justification of emotions, and on and on. The reason I’m saying all of this is that I have talked to a lot of people lately and they … <\/p>\n