One of the things I forget from time to time, except for my primary purpose, is what really protects me from myself. Once in a while it comes back to mind that I need to put up some kind of wall to help me avoid falling back into my character defects and thus real trouble.<\/p>\n
Bill W., in the Twelfth Step in the 12&12, tells us what this protection is. We have to be willing to place spiritual growth first, and then, he says, we have a real chance. For what? To stay sober, of course.<\/p>\n
For someone like me, this is a real challenge. When I stop and think about this, the idea of a spiritual life is a little overwhelming. When I came in, I had no idea this was going to be one of the requirements to get sober and stay that way. Tell me I have to do something and you’re going to see someone who is going to rebel against it.<\/p>\n
Especially if it seems to be out of reach. I mean, what is a spiritual life and how do we get there? My sponsor told me it was all about forgetting self and helping others. Giving it away to keep it. How was a self centered ex drunk going to be able to get his mind off himself and all his problems? My sponsor gave me the BB and told me that all the answers were in there. He told me to open it and start reading and then studying it. Again rebellion.<\/p>\n
Then I finally got the message. If I wanted to stay sober and never drink again, I was going to have to follow directions. My way had failed. It didn’t work. My mind was not enough to solve my problems. I desperately needed help and it came in the form of the words in the Second Step. I had to get a higher power to enable me to live a sober life. That was the beginning and the door opened a tiny crack.<\/p>\n
Slowly, ever so slowly, I began to apply the steps to my life and my problems. Each time I found myself in pain and confusion, I found that I could alleviate that pain by working the next step. Not an easy way to start, because I felt this humiliation that I couldn’t work it out for myself. But work it did and humiliation began to turn into some humility. And this humility began to expand and allow the life in the spirit to grow within.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I was thinking about this today and being grateful for my sponsor and all those other people, who kept prodding me forward and supporting me in my quest for sobriety. I truly owe these people my life and what sanity I have today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One of the things I forget from time to time, except for my primary purpose, is what really protects me from myself. Once in a while it comes back to mind that I need to put up some kind of wall to help me avoid falling back into my character defects and thus real trouble. … <\/p>\n