It’s truly amazing that I can do today, what I couldn’t for the life of me do before. I can remember the consequences of my drinking. I often can look back at that horror show which describes those years out there. I can certainly see my last day drinking in sharp detail. I remember almost every moment. It’s a reminder to me of why I came here in the first place. Alcohol was killing me.<\/p>\n
Bill describes in exquisite detail how, when we were drinking, we could not remember what had happened to us in our previous drinking episodes. That peculiar twist of mind in the alcoholic, which prevents him from being able to resist the next drink. That was me. I would begin drinking again without thought of what happened before and what was probably going to happen again.<\/p>\n
I remember Bill W. describing that incident on a certain Memorial Day, when he picked up a drink after having been so sick and crazy. The man he was with said, that he recalled Bill had said he would be crazy if he drank again. Bill’s reply was that yes, he was crazy. And he was on his way again. Insanity, because that’s what it was.<\/p>\n
Today, I can think clearly and sanely and recall what I went through and why I don’t want to drink again. Yet, I know that insanity can return and I won’t have the memories I have today. Once the insanity takes over, I will throw away all thoughts which would prevent me from asking for help and I will drink. What in the world would make that happen?<\/p>\n
I was thinking about this today. I was thinking about the second step. I was also thinking about that insanity and how it could return. One way is what Bill said about anger. He said it cuts us off from the sunlight of the spirit and that the insanity returns and we drink again. The key words: the insanity returns. But, if I remain in the sunlight of the spirit, I will not.<\/p>\n
Rereading “There Is A Solution” proved to be a reinforcing and consoling moment today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It’s truly amazing that I can do today, what I couldn’t for the life of me do before. I can remember the consequences of my drinking. I often can look back at that horror show which describes those years out there. I can certainly see my last day drinking in sharp detail. I remember almost … <\/p>\n