One of the problems we alcoholics seem to face is that word “humility”. My take on this is that I think we tend to think of humility as to find ourselves crawling on hands and knees. My understanding is that of getting our egos down to proper size.<\/p>\n
I know, when I came into this program, I had no idea that my ego was out sized. I remember one intelligent spiritual person told me that they were amazed that there was room for any other human on this earth because of the size of my ego. I know I learned from my old sponsor and others that alcoholics have super sized egos. Dr. Tiebout, who helped AA in the early years, said that the alcoholic needed ego deflation in depth. And that’s what I and others experienced from old timers in here. They never hesitated to cut me down to size, for which I am grateful.<\/p>\n
The name of that book, the history of AA, Not God, tells me what we alcoholics needed to learn. I may think I know it is what most of us suffered from, when we came in. We had to learn that we’re not in charge. Then, after we are settled down, we had to learn, as one of my friends tells us, to get out of the driver’s seat and go to the back of the bus. Not easy for people like us.<\/p>\n
And I learned from my old sponsor, in that Second Step, that I’m not in charge. I needed to surrender and develop faith and hope in my Higher Power and not me. I’m not in charge. All I have to do is to believe in the Serenity Prayer, which tells me that the things I cannot change are almost everything. When I stop and think about that I can see exactly the only thing I can change is me. And I need my Higher Power’s help to do that.<\/p>\n
Anyway I was thinking about this today. I ask myself, am I willing to do the will of my Higher Power, or my own will? It’s kind of like what it said in the Ninth Step in the BB: The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.<\/p>\n
I may be “number one” in here. But that’s because no one can stay sober for me, as my sponsor’s widow pointed out to us. She was right. I need to keep my desire to stay sober a day at a time, right up front each and everyday. I’ve seen too many go back to drinking again and often die as a result. I don’t want to go there. I never ever want to drink alcohol again. When I surrendered to that First Step I did so one hundred percent. Never want to forget that. Makes me grateful. I owe gratitude to my Higher Power, this program, and the people in it, who have helped me. And that for me is the beginning of humility.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One of the problems we alcoholics seem to face is that word “humility”. My take on this is that I think we tend to think of humility as to find ourselves crawling on hands and knees. My understanding is that of getting our egos down to proper size. I know, when I came into this … <\/p>\n