A question of sponsorship came up today. Every once in a while this happens, when someone’s obviously angry or dissatisfied with their sponsor.<\/p>\n
Anyway, it made me think and talk to others about my experience and theirs.
\nBill W. describes sponsors as the half blind leading the blind. Chances are that they get things right about 50 percent of the time, I think.<\/p>\n
My sponsor was never one to tell me what I had to do. But he did show me how to get things done. Like he said to me, that there are no musts in the BB, but a helluva lot of you betters. He did tell me to study the BB. He told me, after my first sponsor drank again and died, that I could follow that man or I could stay and get sober. He never talked to me about God or spirituality, but he did give me his example of just that. He taught me that AA was not a bank or lending institution. It was not a hotel or a lonely hearts club. Nor was it a taxi or bus service. Later on, he helped me with those I sponsored and then when he thought I was ready, he cut me lose, with the words that they were now my responsibility. He taught me not to assume the burden of others. That could lead to a drink. He told me much and taught me much. He really saved my life.<\/p>\n
I’m sure there are as many stories like mine, and just as many which don’t match that. But one thing I know, a sponsor is not a “friend”. At least not in the beginning of the relationship. Friends, very often, will hesitate telling a friend the truth. Bill does talk about this. But a sponsor and his “pigeon”, as we once called them, the “sponsee”, can, and often do, grow into being friends. Bill W., it is said, used to meet his pigeons in a public park in NYC. He observed that pigeons pooped on the statues in that park. Since his sponsees often did the same to him, that’s where the name “pigeon” came from.<\/p>\n
My thoughts on sponsorship came from my experiences with the man I knew as my sponsor for over twenty years. He was my mentor. As the dictionary defines it, a wise and trusted teacher and counselor. He helped me with my thinking. He taught me to act as if. He showed me how to stay sober. He gave of himself so that I would grow and be able to do exactly what he did; to know how to work with another alcoholic. If imitation is the highest form of a compliment, that’s what I try to do. He taught me that the BB was my source of the wisdom and knowledge I needed to stay sober and help others to do the same.<\/p>\n
My sponsor is no longer here. But I remember him with a great deal of fondness and respect. That’s what I was thinking about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A question of sponsorship came up today. Every once in a while this happens, when someone’s obviously angry or dissatisfied with their sponsor. Anyway, it made me think and talk to others about my experience and theirs. Bill W. describes sponsors as the half blind leading the blind. Chances are that they get things right … <\/p>\n