A couple of times, I have been where your are in thinking. Because of my hiatal hernia, which has often been misdiagnosed, I have been rushed to the hospital by ambulance and had to wait around in the er for hours and hours and been given all kinds of treatment. My mind during those periods was focused on one thing…me. I skipped over all of K-R’s steps and went directly to me.<\/p>\n
Only one time did I not do this. That was when I was in real trouble. I was about a year or more in the program and I hemmoraged from my esophagus. Esophageal varices. Talk about painful and a mule kicking you in the chest. My whole body was on fire. I sit here wondering why, when the doctors told me I would either stop bleeding or I wouldn’t, that I was in a whole different place. No fear. What was that all about? I don’t know. Except I think that I was probably at th! at stage of evolution in this program, where I was totally committed to
\nGod and the prospect of getting sober and staying that way. Doing God’s will? Something was definitely different.<\/p>\n
I’m going to talk to my friend Joe today. He just had his second eye surgery yesterday. But he’s undergone several heart attacks and has had a number of procedures to insert a pace maker. He had to have that done a number of times. I don’t worry about approaching him frankly on the subject, because, since we’re the same age, we often talk about our own demise. After all being almost 80, what do you think? We often end up in hysterics, laughing about this kind of talk.<\/p>\n
But there’s a serious undertone in these talks. We talk about our concept of God. God’s love for us. His forgiveness and mercy. What comes after this life? A lot of that.&nb!
\nsp; It’s a comfort to know that we’re not alone in all of this kind of thing.<\/p>\n
I remember Herb Lennox. When I was about two years sober, maybe more, I developed this fear that I was going to die. I don’t know where that came from, but there it was. I went to him and talked about it. He gave me a seemingly stupid instruction. He told me to go home and go to my bedroom alone. He told me to kneel down beside the bed. He said I was to imagine that I had a box in my hands and that I was to put the fear in the box and push it to the center of the bed. Then I was to tell God that I was giving this fear to Him and that I was going to get up and leave the room and leave the fear with God. I did that. It worked. Don’t ask me why, but it did.<\/p>\n
Ned<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A couple of times, I have been where your are in thinking. Because of my hiatal hernia, which has often been misdiagnosed, I have been rushed to the hospital by ambulance and had to wait around in the er for hours and hours and been given all kinds of treatment. My mind during those periods … <\/p>\n