I was reminded today of something from the past. A well known dj on the local PBS station, who played classical discs, went on vacation one Summer. He was on a very strict medical therapy for his heart. But, he decided that for some reason, since he was out for rest and relaxation, he didn’t have to take his medicine. Result? He had a severe heart attack. When he was recovered and back on the air, he told the story. If you have a severe and fatal disease, follow directions and take your medicine.
I was sober a few years, when this happened and he told his story. I remember that I took this story to heart. I had been on a few vacations by this time and during my time away, I had done the same thing he had; I had not gone to meetings. It was easy to slip into the same kind of thinking. What I forgot, was what he forgot. Our diseases never take time off.
What a fine line we walk, when on this path. Everyday I’m reminded of just how fragile life is. I think how fatal this disease is. Just one drink and I know that I’m on the way to the grave and much more. I was fortunate. I do know that many others have not been so fortuante. I must have been sleep walking not to be aware of this.
Meetings are so important to our recovery from this fatal illness. But, after a whle, it’s easy to see why this phenomenon occurs. When not drinking after a period of time. Like Bill said in the BB, slips are dependent on our state of mind. At least they begin there. Like Jim in the BB, who drank whiskey in a glass of milk. The perfect story. Jim felt that everything was ok. But it wasn’t. He was horribly wrong.
I thought back to what I didn’t do during those couple of weeks. I think I got very casual with morning prayer and meditation. I had books, but I didn’t read them. It wasn’t until I returned to the area, where I got sober, that it gradually began to occur to me to pick up the tools of the program. And, I think I had a certain reluctance to do so. I know that I remember feeling like a stranger on returning to my daily routine, like meetings.
In the Doctor’s Opinion, the doctor said that sobriety could be achieved as long as we follow a few simple rules.
But these are essential. After all, we have only a daily reprieve.
After hearing that man’s story, I never did that again. I went to meetings, sometimes great distances. But I went. I followed through on the steps and the readings, prayer and meditation. I remember one time in the middle of Pennsylvania, I called the Operator and asked if there was any AA in this very rural area. She asked where I was. I told her and in an hour two men knocked on the door. I’ve had a couple of other occassions like that.
All I have to do is follow directions and take my medicine. Simple, but then, I have a fatal illness.