Listening to an alcoholic member today made me go back and read about Bill W., who had literally gone through much of the same thing. This young man was going through a lot of things affecting his life. And Bill the same. Of, course, I, like so many others, also had gone through much of similar problems, back early on in my sobriety.
However, like Bill learned, as did I and others, the solutions we all were seeking were not the answers we needed. What we needed was to grow along spiritual lines. To grow in sobriety. To stay sober a day at a time. One of the lessons Bill learned was that he probably would never complete whatever it was he was doing. But his focus on this program was the real answer. It was for him and for me and many, who were listening and sharing.
Bill had to learn, as did I, that I’m not God. That old statement, Let Go and Let God, still is important to someone like me. I’m not all that important. Bill had to learn that and adapt to more humility. I’m not all that important. I remember a friend of mine, who met Bill at a moment years ago, and who was shaking, when she went up to him. Bill asked her what was wrong. She told him that she was nervous meeting him. He told her to stop and look at him. He said that he was just another alcoholic like she was.
Part of what helped me in here was the Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change, and what I can. And all I really can change is me. That means I have to learn to stay in the present. Not yesterday or tomorrow. I’m here to stay sober this day. Whatever will happen tomorrow is out there in the future. I have no knowledge of that. All I can do on any given day is deal with where I am at the moment.
However, when we all get caught up in a lot of other stuff, it can drag us down and we can end up getting drunk. I’ve seen that happen over and over. And how deadly that can be to people like ourselves. Seen it too many times and never want to go there.
I had to learn to listen to my old sponsor and those old timers in here. I had to change. Meant I had to study the BB and AA literature, and practice these Steps. I had to change and that was going to take time. I had to stay in the present and change my attitude from negative to positive. Not easy for an egotist like myself. I had to learn to get my ego cut down to size by those old timers, whom I am grateful that they did that. It helped me to begin to change. There is still a lot I know I need to do…one day at a time.
Anyway made me grateful to be where I am today. I hope that person also learns this. I’m sure that if he wants to stay sober he will.