One of the things we talked about today led to the Serenity Prayer. To ask for the peace and quiet we need to accept that we’re powerless over many things…if not all. And that is hard to accept, if we believe that we are totally in control. Exactly what most alcoholics suffer from.
I say all of this, because I know I have that overwhelming ego within me. An ego so big that my sponsor and a lot of those old timers were willing to deflate my ego, which Dr. Tiebout told us we needed, if we wanted to stay sober. I am grateful that they at least taught me what I needed in order to change in here.
How often I stop and think about that “director” in the Fifth Chapter of the BB, How It Works. Like the Book tells us, it’s all about selfishness and self-centeredness, and we’re headed towards trouble. I know I’ve been there before a long time ago. Not that it doesn’t begin to pop up on occasions, because I’m human and not a saint, as that Chapter points out. Not perfect.
And this is where meetings, the people in the program, the BB, the Steps all come into my life. I know that I need to be dedicated to staying sober a day at a time. I know that I need to make that my primary goal, each and everyday in my life today. And that’s not to leave my Higher Power out of the picture. The Steps and my Higher Power are the foundation of my sobriety. Without these I have nothing. I’ve seen the results of what happens when we let these things go. I never ever want to go there.
Anyway I know that surrender is the answer to all of this. I have as a result of this program been given so many wonderful things in my life. All of this beginning with hope and faith and eventually love. To put these Steps into practice and begin to grow along spiritual lines.
Like the Book tells me, the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
Anyway, I was grateful for this meeting today and all it raised in my mind and heart. All of the conversations during and after. And I’m still thinking about it now. I am so grateful for all I have been given in here. And I need to say thank you over and over again. How often I go back and think about my friend, who has often talked about his drive to control everything and how he said he had to get out of the driver’s seat and go to the back of the bus. Amazing how many of us identify with him. Thanks.