Once again we had a monthly “chip” day. Anniversaries. Always amazing. A wake up call for people like myself. To see and hear others like myself, who are celebrating a day or many years, and everything in between.
What it does for me is to pull me down into my seat and listen to what’s going on with all of them. And that makes my mind go back to when I came in and how I somehow began to grow in this program.
It was one thing to sit and listen to them, and others responding to them. But it was after the meeting, when I could go up and shake hands and hug some. And to listen to them speak personally to me.
I know that when I was called on near the end of the meeting that one of those statements from an old timer, way back, who challenged my junk early on, popped into my mind. I quickly stated it and then stopped and let go.
And that’s one of the things, which happens to me in meetings like this. Pictures of what it was like back then in my life come into my mind. I mean, starting with the last visit to the barroom on my last day drinking, despair and suicide on my mind, and then the gift of hope. Never ever want to forget that. It not only changed my life, it saved it.
Just being grateful for my sobriety. Thinking of how all those old timers helped me change my life and stay sober. How the Second Step came into my life and opened the door to this program. The discovery of how ignorant I was back then. Immature, insecure, and oversensitive, as they told me. How I had to learn to grow up and become honest and change.
Anyway, a reminder of why I am here and how I need to keep on coming and changing. How I desperately need to try to keep on learning about spirituality and change. I know I’m still human and not a saint. I will still be open to tripping over myself and have to learn how to pick myself up and to keep on keeping on. And to be grateful for all I have been given in here from my Higher Power and those old timers. And to be thankful for all those around me, who keep on helping me to stay sober a day at a time.