t doesn’t matter what day it is. Each and everyday is for me staying sober. I began to learn that once I got here. It all began that night, when I was given hope, and I prayed. I surrendered and turned all over to my Higher Power.
I didn’t know about anything in this program then. I knew nothing about alcoholism. I only learned all that, when I got here. But I never want to forget every step of the way. I can never seem to lose all that happened. Fortunately this program opened my heart, my soul, and my mind.
The one thing I can never forget is that last day drinking, when I had already planned suicide. The despair I felt was closing the door on my life. And then I found hope, when someone told me about this program and how I could come in and get sober. I not only remember that, but I also remember that first meeting. Something I also never want to forget.
One of the early gifts I was given, besides the freedom from drinking alcohol, was truth I desperately needed. And that came to me from the old sponsor, who helped take over the directions I needed so much. He was the one, who pointed out to me, that my ego was telling me lies. I was so swollen inside. I thought I knew everything. He ended that for me and opened the program for me. He helped me all along the way. So did his wife and so many old timers.
Every time I see new people, or those coming back, I always hope they will find someone, who knows this program, and I hope they will listen to them. Once alcoholics like myself find themselves listening to themselves I always think I wonder how long before they will go back out and drink again. I’ve seen it too many times. But all I can do is offer them this program. I cannot change them. I can pray for them and that’s about it.
But I did have to stop and think about why I am here. I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. That’s it, but I never want to forget it. I am so grateful I have been given so much. I know I never deserve it, but it here it is and I don’t want to let go of it. I pray to my Higher Power and owe so much to Him, as well as the program and all those in here, who have helped me along the way.