The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Ninth Step in the BB.
I think that statement has always been on the edge of my mind, even when I’m not thinking about it.
I often stop and think about the spiritual life, although I’m not always aware that I’m doing so. It just is. That’s because it all began, when I read the Second Step in the Fourth chapter of the BB, It came into my mind the minute I read that I was either going to live a spiritual life or die an alcoholic death. That was a wake up call for me. I had already gone through the hell of my alcoholism, and in the despair I was suffering I decided to commit suicide. Hope given to me turned that all around, because I prayed and surrendered and the alcohol “was gone”. And I never ever want to go back there.
So, over time in here, I have gone through a lot of stuff trying to become spiritual, as I learned from my old sponsor, and some of those old timers. I have also listened to spiritual people, read books, and have tried to practice. Sometimes intensely and sometimes very lightly. Yet the spiritual life is always around.
I know from what I have learned over time that the spiritual life is an individual thing within each of us. It’s not a “uniform” practice. And I don’t think I can imagine that is the same in general in any of us. In fact, even when it is “discussed” sometimes at meetings, I think the “presenters” don’t do anything more than talk about what has been written in general. At least in my mind, and sometimes in writing of others, that whatever the spiritual life is is individually private.
I realize that there have been prayers and thoughts published, which many of us practice. And even though I may say this one or that one, it just may take me someplace within. Or not. But it very often may be the “background” of my state of mind or spirit.
None of this may make any sense, but it was on my mind today and I thought I needed to stop and run myself through it. As the Ninth Step statement said, “it’s not a theory”.
Anyway I know that I have had to open my mind, and hopefully my heart, to practice staying sober this day.