One of those things, which very often surprises me, is the Twelfth Step. I don’t always understand it in a way. I mean I was with a member today, which was a real gift in a sense. And then, when I wasn’t aware, I was suddenly surprised, when the person told me they were “new”. It nearly took my breath away.
I found myself, to my surprise, focusing on telling this person my story. My drinking and getting sober. What happened, which led to my surrendering and getting free of alcohol. I focused more on alcohol and getting sober, rather than the spiritual life in here. Didn’t mean I didn’t talk about some of the spiritual life. But I wanted to help this person to focus on what it was that drove us here. I figured they will get spiritual help from their sponsor, whom I know will go there.
I really wasn’t thinking about myself, although it was my alcoholic history. In fact I really was totally separated from myself, while doing this. It was only afterwards that I slowly became aware of what had happened. How grateful I am is beyond measurement. I truly feel like I had been given a gift I truly needed. Else why did this happen.
The thought that this was what was going to happen was strictly a blank page. I had no idea. All I know was that I needed a ride home from the meeting and it was arranged for me by a friend of mine. And along the way I was handed this surprise. Hard for me to explain what happened next, except to admit I just stepped in and followed up with the idea of freely giving what was so freely given to me back then.
Just another reminder of why I am here. To stay sober a day at a time. The gift of my sobriety is an unearned reward. It just is in response to my being able to surrender to my Higher Power. Being willing to turn my alcoholic drinking over to the God of my understanding. And the rest of my life. I felt I had to give everything. But the latter took a long long time. Still underway.
My thanks to my Higher Power and the person, who opened up and let me know what was going on. Also to all those present today, which I felt was a great influence.