Just a thought came to me this morning. It had to do with prayer. First the Third Step prayer. Then the Serenity Prayer. And finally prayers for others. But my real thought was how really I could help the people I care for. Those particularly in ill health to start with. And then those, whom I know, who I feel I need to pray for.
I know that the sick and suffering are not in my control. I may want them to get well, but I have come to realize that I have no control over what will happen to them. I’m just an alcoholic. A human, who, when it comes to this, is weak. Like the BB and those old timers told me, I’m not a saint. And then, helping others to change, which I wish for them, is not going to do what I want, for the same reason. That’s where I had to learn that I have to let go and not expect change in anyone the way I wish. I cannot change others, anymore than I can bring about cure for illnesses. All I can do is to let go and let God, as I understand Him. And continue to love and care for them.
And, of course, like the Serenity Prayer points out for me, all I can change is myself, with my Higher Power’s grace. I often have to go back to that spiritual axiom in the Tenth Step. That whenever I’m disturbed, I’m the one at fault. Not others. It’s me. And I have to ask my Higher Power for what I need to stop going down the wrong road.
Once again I have to stop and step back. I have to get out of the way of others and myself. Like the Ninth Step points out. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
Anyway I just had to stop and think about these things. It’s really what helps me to become willing to change. I kind of chuckle, when I think about this thought. I just have to remember how long it took me to get to this stage in my life. Talk about the egotistical alcoholic in me. I found the gratitude I need, because of what I have been given in here. What has changed me and helped me to stay sober a day at a time. My primary purpose. I need to say, “Thanks”.