Today brought about the Second Tradition. Worth thinking about. At least for me. I can well remember back to my early years in here. I had my new old sponsor and his help. And I can well remember back then I had been in a few years and was elected Secretary for out group. And that’s when I once again got awakened.
I mean, here I was, still struggling with the Steps, but doing the best I could. And so I was going to be the Secretary for six months, if I can remember that. Anyway, after a while, when I finally began to feel comfortable, I decided that I was ready to show how in charge I was. I had made up my mind to put something into action, which was new for our program. That’s when I got really slammed by my sponsor. Whatever it was, I forget, but I always remembered what he told me. I was here to be of service to the group. I was not in charge. I remember it knocked the wind out of me.
Looking back I can remember it was a wake up call I so desperately needed. I really hadn’t gone through these Traditions. But it did open the door and I began to do what he wanted me to. To study and practice these in my life and the lives of others. At that time I was totally unaware that my big ego was getting back into action. He woke me up to that and helped to once again deflate my ego. What I really needed. My ego had been trying to tell me I needed to be the center of the admiration of all our members.
And this brought me back to turning all this over to my Higher Power and the members of our group. Just what I desperately needed. I had to be able to learn to back off and step out of my way. I was tripping over me, like I did, when I was drinking. I didn’t want to go back there ever again.
Once again I look around and I can see some who are fairly early on in here, who have sponsors who are helping them greatly. And then I can see those, who really don’t have sponsors. They had gone through a rehab and believed they knew all they needed to know about this program. Very much a lead into a “dry” alcoholic. The kind, who often find themselves drifting deeper into themselves and ending up outside and drinking again. Seen it too many times and don’t ever want to go there.
Anyway, this Tradition is a real wake up call for me. I can never forget what happened and never want to . It’s a reminder to me of why I am here. To stay sober a day at a time. To continue to try to grow along spiritual lines in here. To put this program into action within myself and hopefully help others along the way. Makes me grateful for all I have been given.