Once again I was reminded today about a lot of what has been expressed in the BB and the 12&12, and that is about how someone like me has to handle the feelings, which had torn me down. In other words, just like those old timers said, the intellect over the emotions. Putting the spiritual life into action in our lives.
I have often gone back to the Eighth Step in the 12&12, where Bill W. talks about what doctors and spiritual writers refer to as the unconscious mind. That is quite forgotten things, which we have completely lost, but our negative emotions can almost immediately remember, which take over our lives. As he points out they discolor our personalities and change our lives for the worst. And, I know they did mine.
That was what got an opening to change me, when I was introduced to the Second Step by my old sponsor. The beginning of the spiritual life. Meeting my Higher Power, which I so desperately needed. And then the actions in the next ten Steps, which helped me to change. And over time I have. Not completely, but enough to help me to stay sober a day at a time. To be restored to sanity and experience the spiritual awakening in here.
Anyway, today was one of those days, when I almost got pulled back into those awful old negative emotions, but was reminded about what was happening and was able to pull myself back from the edge. Like the BB and those old timers pointed out, we will never be saints. We’re still human alcoholics. Still going to stumble over our old defects, and need to ask our Higher Power to pull us back and restore us once again. I am so grateful for all I have been given in here.