Today was the monthly “anniversary” day. People with all kinds of time in here were celebrating. I had mixed feelings. as it went on. Part of me remembered my own last anniversary, which was a long time in here. In fact another man, who has a couple of years longer than myself, and I were talking earlier about how long we have been in and, if we combined our times, we would be way up there. But that’s not what I was thinking about.
When they finally called on me, I wanted to be clear, but I’m afraid my statement wasn’t that open. I think I messed it up. What I was trying to tell the group was, that our only anniversary is today. Each and everyone of us, who were sober today, only stay sober a day at a time. So, when the day is over, it’s this day which we need to celebrate. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. Like I was told a long long time ago, we stay sober just today. That’s it. When tomorrow comes, we start over.
If I really want to think about why I am here, it’s just to stay sober today. My next “annual” celebration is a few more months away. Not here today. What’s here today is this day. Right now. And this is the day I need to stay sober. And I know this probably sounds silly, but it’s an actual fact. The fact that after each year we have these annual celebrations is just a time, when we stop and make a time mark on our having stayed sober. However the important thing is that I haven’t had a drink today.
The emphasis on this day was made by my old sponsor and those old timers in here. And when others went back out and drank again, their sobriety was gone that day. Not the day before, or the day after.
I know this all sounds probably silly, but it’s an actual fact. And I know no one really wants to stop and go into this kind of thinking. But each night, when I lay down to sleep, I am very grateful for having been sober this day. And tomorrow, when I wake up, I know that what I will be thinking is that I know I need to stay sober this day. So, I will always begin this day asking my Higher Power for the help I need to stay sober this day.
That’s why I go to meetings almost everyday. Most days of every week, when and if I can. I have seen what has happened to those who have pulled back from attending meetings. Not a pretty sight to say the least. Sooner or later they get drunk again. And often they die. Seen that over and over. A reminder to me to keep on doing what my old sponsor and those old timers showed me.
Anyway I just needed to stop and think about how important each day is to this alcoholic. I know what it was like, when I came into this program. My mind was focused on my own thinking. And that was that I was never ever going to drink again, ever. Had I kept that thought, I probably would have lost my way in here and wandered off, because I might have forgotten that I needed never to drink ever again. I know that is almost exactly what has happened to many, who stopped going to meetings and went back out. I pray that I never forget what I was told to do. I was told that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. And that was a wake up call that got me back on my feet within. I am so grateful.