Staying sober a day at a time, was a gift given to me by my Higher Power and this program, AA. Every day I wake up and begin is always great for this alcoholic. All this, as long as I stay in the positive and not the negative.
My old sponsor always had a way of helping me to do this. He would run into me and ask me where I was. “Where are your feet?”, would be one of the questions. I would point at them, and he would say, “Stay there.” The thing he was demonstrating to me, was that I needed to stay in the day, the moment. The minute I began to wander off into the future I was headed for trouble. That and my drifting off into the past and running into awful thoughts.
What he was trying to do for me was to help me to be in the “now” mentally. I know that there was a time in here, when my mind would often go into the future and the past all at once. The negative thoughts would go into anger, or depression, and sometimes more. He pointed out what that could do for me, and he was right. I had seen what it had done to some others. They got back to drinking. I didn’t ever want to got there again. But like he pointed out, that could happen without a thought on my part. Negative feelings could very well take me there.
I learned in here, over time, that I could focus on the “now” and not anything else. It would help me continue to be in the positive. Especially if I would move into the Second Step. The spiritual life and a relation with my Higher Power. I had learned to stop drifting off into the future, which could get me estimating what was going to happen, which would, at some point, drag me into the negative. That based on what happened one way or another in the past.
I knew that what he wanted me to do was to focus on what was pretty much right now. To remain positive and not negative. To avoid fear, and anger, and more awful thoughts and feelings. I knew he was right and how I had to stay where I am. To pray, go to meetings, talk to those in here, and to be able to be helpful with those who needed help, as well as the possibility of Twelfth Step work. And to stay focused on what it was that was right in front of me. What I needed to do.
Anyway, I am grateful for what he did for me. He and his wife, Fern, who, after he passed away, stayed in touch with me, and gave me a lot of positive thoughts. She did that for a lot of people in this program. Makes me so grateful for her, her husband and my sponsor, Tom. And I am grateful for my Higher Power, and all those who have also helped me.