Going back into the BB, I again started to be reminded of what I really need to know. Once again I had to become open to change. And this is why I had to step aside and sit down and reread parts of this book, which helps me to once again be willing to do my Higher Power’s will for me. It’s not that I don’t try to follow my concept of God, but once in a while I have to stop and take time out to be open to be reminded of why I am here.
Of course I never withdraw and forget that I am a sober alcoholic. I also need to remember that I’m here to stay sober one day at a time. I have to also be reminded that I have to avoid projections of my mind beyond this day. I’m here to focus on today and nothing of the future. I may have to make plans, but I can make them and then stay right here right now. The same about the past. I can well remember how I had made plans for the future, and then find myself scanning the past and end up with negative thoughts about my future plans. All of that could very well lead to terrible thoughts and feelings. Anger, hate, deep resentments, and on and on.
So right now is where I belong. Of course that also helps me to go to meetings on a regular basis and be shared with and to also share. And, of course, that opens the door to helping others in here…or being helped myself. I know that I was freely given what I so desperately needed, and I also can freely give what is needed to those who need it.
When I stop and think about all of these things, I am reminded to say the prayer, which helps me to ask my Higher Power to help me to be relieved of the bondage of self, so that I can better serve Him. Often each day I do this, because it is a reminder of why I am here and what it is I need to do.
Anyway, it’s a good time for me to stop putting down my thoughts and to extend my gratitude to my Higher Power for all the help I have been given. I also need to think about the thanks I owe my old sponsor and all those old timers for their help. And I know I am grateful to all those who continue to reach out and help me.