Today was one of those days, when an alcoholic, who is “new”, brought up the subject of acceptance, so to speak. He was obviously being bothered by what he was hearing and was apparently wanting others to agree with him. At least that’s what hit me, when he was bringing up the subject. Moreover, he often walked out of the meeting on and off, and missed a number of those in here, who were talking about working this program.
I know what bothered me was what he obviously didn’t want to hear. And that was listening to those, who know how this program works for most of us. And for me anyway I was listening and hoping to hear the “I over E”.
That’s exactly what changed me. Placing my Intellect over my Negative Emotions.
I wasn’t the only one who wanted to hear the same thing. It was something my old sponsor and those old timers gave to me. Never forgot that. It’s what helped to change me from the negative to the positive. Over time it did free me of my being run by my negative emotions. A danger for alcoholics. Resentments, anger, hatred, self pity, fear, and a whole lot of these things, which ran my thinking while I was drinking, and when I was freed from alcohol, it was still there, running my mind when I came into this program.
I’ve seen how these things effected alcoholics in here, who went out and drank again and died, when resentment the negative emotion took over their lives. The BB tells us that more than once. And so did my sponsor and other old timers in here. All negative emotions are dangerous for us. We have to change and step into thinking in the right way. I have even seen depression do the same thing.
I have learned to change my thinking to the positive side and get rid of the negative emotions. Time takes time. It’s a day at a time in here, not only to stay sober, but to be able to change our thinking.
And basically it is also the result of changing ourselves into a spiritual way of life. The Second Step opened the door for me, both in a way of living and beginning to be attached to my Higher Power. I was helped to do this and to begin to grow along spiritual lines. Didn’t happen over night. Time takes time, but it definitely helped to change me. It’s worth it, and I owe so much gratitude to my Higher Power and all those old timers and others, who so freely helped me to change. And I owe this to others.