One thing I know I’m grateful for is that before I came to this program, I didn’t know how to live. I hear that often from others, but it is the truth. Many of us I know knew how to make a living, but went right by that one thing we all need, which is how to not only live, but to live well.
For instance, I really didn’t know how to live with others in this world. I didn’t know how to get along with those around me. Rather I would pull back and isolate. I didn’t know how much I feared those around me, until I hit the doors of this program. I would have preferred to disappear and hide out. To draw the blankets over my head and try to ignore life in general. That’s what I realize alcohol did for me. It buried me in a sea of booze.
But, just like the BB said, we were people, who would ordinarily wouldn’t get together. But alcohol drove us to get together, because, as I learned early on, I could not stay sober alone. I guess that’s really how meetings must have been born and developed. We needed each other.
The 12 Steps got me sober, but it’s the group that helps me stay sober. Even though many of us, like myself, came in in some kind of “relationship”, for instance marriage, I really didn’t have a real relationship with anyone until I met the members of this program. And it was through the relations I established in here that I first began to have a relationship with a higher power.
I’ve always believed that sobriety is about relationships. It was in here I first began to learn how to get along with others. How to have friendships. How to really begin to care about others. How to be honest with others. How to overcome difficulties with others. How to really love one another. How to be faithful and loyal. How to be of help to others.
All this came at the opening moments of this program for me. I came and heard others talk about what I knew best. They talked about alcohol. They knew about drinking. But they also talked about something I had no idea about. They introduced me to the concept of staying sober. Not only that they showed me by example of what their sobriety and a sober life was about. They didn’t promote one thing. I was attracted to this program by what I heard and what I saw. That was the beginning for me.
Today we talked pretty much about the 9th Step. Minding our own business and staying to our side of the street. That definitely was part of my upbringing in this program and relationships. Taking responsibility for my part in the things I did to others and making amends. For my part only and not getting into the faults of others. That pretty much describes how to deal with others.
Today I thought about the Prayer of St. Francis. It tells us how to get along and what our part is in life. To give comfort, understanding, and forgiveness, rather than seeking them for ourselves. A tall order for someone so selfish and self centered like me, but worth trying. Beginning in the rooms and then carrying it back out into my life outside the rooms. In other words, practicing these principles in all of my affairs.
How am I doing? Ha! At least trying most of the times. Success is something else. But I know it’s up to me to keep picking myself up and trying again, when I fail. For the most part it has been working, else I don’t think I’d be sober. That’s why I need so much help from my higher power and my fellow alcoholics.