Lot of revelations made today on the Seventh Step experiences of quite a few sober alcoholics. I know I could identify what was being said.
Perfection was way out of the picture for all of us. What a relief that must have been for many of the newer members in the program. However one of the things that kept coming to mind for me was the time factor and how it continues to help modify my faults.
Later on another friend of mine with long time sobriety and I talked about the time factor in this program and our faults. We have discovered over time that two things came into play. One of them is something well in our own control in dealing with our character defects. The other is not in our power by thinking and changing, when it comes to defects. It’s spiritual.
First we found out had to do with our ability to change our attitude toward these faults, from negative to positive. Living with a positive attitude instead of my former old negative attitude definitely had a huge effect. It helped me limit my exercise of these defects in my life.
As I thought about all of this, the concern I used to have about my failure to surrender all these defects in that Sixth and Seventh Steps, as it was proposed to this alcoholic, began to be minimized. I could let go and get more comfortable with myself. Just listening to others, who had the same concerns of failure to let go completely, I think eased not only my own mind but must have for others.
And then the second thing my friend and I had talked about was the spiritual aspect of this and other Steps. All this goes back to not just the sharing we do in the Fifth Step, which was part of our discussion today, but, for me, the commitment I made in the Second and Third.
Earlier today I received a call from an old friend, a man I still sponsor, who talked about something I had hoped for him over the course of all these years. Something I always shared with him, but for the first time he brought it up, without my urging. He said that he had come to realize that the solution is spiritual. I had this sense of relief I find hard to express. As I have often said, I have never been able to change any ones mind about anything. Ever. If they don’t want to change, I am powerless. And here was a change for the positive.
And that brought up another part of what we were talking about today. Sharing with one another. What the Fifth Step brought into reality for almost all of us. I sure wasn’t one to share my secrets with anyone, when I came in. But the Fifth opened the door for me and so many others. The wonderful thing about that is the fact that, some one like me, who has practiced these Steps so imperfectly, can continue to share my secrets over time. I can identify what I have learned in this program. That none of us will ever practice these Steps perfectly. Only the First Step is the one which must be perfect, if I want to stay sober.
Again this brings back what happened this morning with the man, who called me this morning. Over many years, in order to help him, I have shared and shared many things I probably missed. But on the other hand I also was able to do what he said about the solution to our problems being spiritual.
Anyway, in considering all of this, when I got home I just had to stop and think. I had to express what was going on in my mind. Kind of a meditation about my Higher Power and all the help I have been given over the course of all these years in the program. And that’s not to ignore all the aid so many sober alcoholics have given to me along the way through our sharing with one another. Can’t help but be grateful.