Someone I’ve known a long time called and wanted some information about working this program. Or at least how I’ve worked this program. Kind of makes me pause and think about that. We were talking about quite a while back.
Going back to what it was like for me a few years in the program made me have to dig things out of my mind. What it was like working with my sponsor and his appointed co sponsor for me.
Did I have problems back then. I mean real problems. Financial, relationships, and program problems. To all of that I had to say yes. Very many. But that’s where my sponsors came in. My sharing and them sharing and helping me with their suggestions. And sometimes their directions.
Made me go back and think about putting the Serenity Prayer into action. Did I realize back then, when I was powerless? And, if I could change things, did I have the courage, the help from others I needed, and my Higher Power? And the answer was, of course. Not always successful. Lots of bumps in the road.
I pointed out to him that it took a long long time to get a more clear head in this program. Nothing planned. Just what happened over time. Like I told him that it took almost twenty years to get walking around sense. That was all based on just how sick I was, when I came in. Also that, when I came in, I didn’t really know how to live without alcohol. Something I desperately needed. Plus the fact that I was emotionally retarded. About a 14 year old back then.
As I was talking to a new man at the meeting today, I was definitely reminded of just how irresponsible I was back then in my drinking days. Plus the fact that I was in total despair. And alcohol had definitely damaged me physically and mentally, emotionally, let alone spiritually.
Add to all of this I was a slow learner. Reluctant to change and wanted to argue. Didn’t want to ever drink again, but hesitated, when it came to putting this program into action. But that’s exactly where my sponsor came in.
And then add to that Time Takes Time. None of this growing up and living a sober life, a spiritual life, is going to happen over night. Like I said, I hit a lot of bumps in the road, as I attempted to grow up. But along the way I learned an awful lot from my sponsor and all those old timers.
I was glad that he asked me all those questions. Not really comfortable, but it made me grateful. Not just talking to him, but the reminder was heartening in a way. It was a good reminder of how I have changed over the time I have been in here. Sometimes I need that active awareness of what I have become and just where I am today. Beyond my wildest dreams. Love it. And a lot of thanks to my Higher Power and all the people I have met worked with along the way. And yes, the program itself.