This is nothing new, but today I was talking to a few, who were having difficulties. And, of course, the main thing was anger.
Anger was one of my most difficult emotions. Mainly, for me, because I didn’t always show it. It was hidden down within and always painful to say the least.
Once again I always go back and think of how risky we can become, because anger often ends up becoming a resentment. Too often I have seen this fulfilling the BB statement, that resentment cuts us off from the sunlight of the spirit, we drink again, and we die. I witnessed this early on in the program. It definitely had a deep impression on me. I knew I had to change, if I wanted to stay sober.
And I learned in here that one of the things I had to do, if I wanted to deal with this, was to learn how to deal with my negative emotions. I definitely learned that I had to get my emotions out of the way and learn to think my way through life and sobriety without them.
And this is exactly where I had to begin to live a spiritual way of life. The Second Step. The restoration to sanity definitely played a big part in all of this. And with the help of my Higher Power, I stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. Sanity had returned.
None of this was an overnight event. Time took time. But over time I learned how to put this program into action in my life. I began to change. And one of the things I learned in here was how to put my intellect over my emotions. Prayer and meditation. Stopping my day and starting it over, as I was taught by my sponsor and old timers. Changing my attitude from negative to positive.
There was a lot of stuff I learned in here. I talked about that with others, and, of course, included our need to stop and focus on why we are here. To stay sober a day at a time. Our primary purpose. My need to maintain hope, faith, and eventually love, in my life. To grow in gratitude for all I have been given. To give thanks to my Higher Power and others like myself, who have helped me. To freely give this program away to those who need it.