Today we talked about the negative emotions in our lives. Very interesting how alcoholics in the meeting were trying to deal with these. Definitely not easy.
I know that long ago, when I came into this program sober, I found myself tied up in these thing. Anger, and resentments, fear, self pity, and on and on. During my drinking years negative emotions ran my mind. Then, when I was freed from alcohol and came into the AA program, I slowly discovered this was still running my thinking.
What helped and saved me was my old sponsor and some of those old timers in here. I not only had to do the Steps, but I had to learn how to handle these negative emotions and change to positive thinking. That’s when my sponsor helped me to start working the Second Step, and begin to live a spiritual life and have a relationship with my Higher Power.
That helped me to come and understand what this was all about and how to change. And that began to show me how heavy this was in my life. After all, I could not begin to change. I discovered that I was living a day at a time, and these changes were going to take time. Not a day, not a week, not a month, not a year, but more. Time took time. And over time I did change.
That’s what I tried to express to those in the meeting. Did it work? Hmmm. Maybe and maybe not. But each and everyone will have to find out. Hopefully they won’t drink and maybe learn to change and let go of the damaging thoughts and decisions. Especially about resentments. I know that cost my first sponsor and another sober alcoholic their lives. They got drunk and died.
What a warning for this alcoholic. And the BB talked about this, as did my sponsor and other old alcoholics in here.
Anyway, it helped me to pause and think, to find the peace within me, the happiness and care I have for others, as well as myself. And the gratitude I have to my Higher Power…as well as all those who have helped me.