Anonymity is not always the easiest way to go. Stepping back and kind of being “invisible” can be difficult. But the program wants us to be able to practice this invisible, quiet way of life. It’s one thing to be quiet and not allow others to know that we are sober alcoholics, especially in AA.
I know that in AA we all seem to know each other. I can speak out, like others, and tell them who and what I am. But telling others, not alcoholics, or not interested in getting sober, who and what we are is out of the question. I can be sober next to them, but don’t have to tell them that I am, or what and why I am being who I am. I can be in a drinking crowd, especially on business, but never have to tell them why I am not drinking. It’s really none of their business, and I have told them I just didn’t drink. But…
I am not here to advertise AA. I am here to quietly practice this program and partake in meetings with others like myself. The Traditions spell that out for us. We need, as I learned, to practice humility. I can remember, when I was still early on in sobriety in this program, I was the leading manager for a large medical insurance program, and had to take my group of salesmen to a huge corporation, to try to enroll them into our company. We were in a huge auditorium, which was packed with active staff members
of that company.
We were on stage before that huge crowd, and I went up to introduce our company and what we did and wanting to enroll them in our outfit. So I stepped up to the microphone, and introduced myself, as “Hi, I’m Ned and I’m an alcoholic”. And the crowd went into hysterics.
I unconsciously introduced myself as I did at AA meetings. Even my sales people were chuckling, and I was trying to get myself out of this embarrassing situation. I did, but I never ever went that way again. Somehow, after the meeting, no one reacted to that. And none of my personnel even mentioned it to me. And later, when I told some of the members of this program what happened, I learned that this had happened to others, who suffered humiliation like I did and never ever did that again. Nor, like I said, have I.
As always, when talking about humility, I generally tell alcoholics about the last page in the 12&12. It’s part of the summation of the Twelve Traditions. And the last two Traditions, Eleven and Twelve are at the bottom. And that’s where they talk about humility. I often go back there and remind myself of what it is I keep trying to live and practice.
Anyway I am grateful to this program, which teaches us a spiritual way of life we were introduced to in the Second Step. Makes me grateful to my Higher Power and all the members of AA, especially those who have helped me along the way.