Despite what we were talking about today, gratitude and Eleventh Step, I had to go back to the beginning as always. Both were what I believe are gratitude and spirituality…Step Eleven. The reason for this is that I can never ever forget what happened when I got sober.
All of this was about my going to commit suicide, because I could not stand drinking alcohol and what it was doing to me. I was filled with despair. All of my inner vision was totally black. I was what I know was total loss of my living. I had no light, no hope.
And that’s when a friend of mine I drank with heard about the AA program. Men and women, who met stayed sober together, and were willing to help people like us. And that gave me hope. I went home and prayed for the first time in a long time. I begged my Higher Power to help me stop drinking, I promised I would do whatever he wanted me to do.
Then I went to bed and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up and for the first time in years I didn’t want a drink. And for me the miracle is I have never had a drink of alcohol since that day .
And that’s what I always think is the most important reason for my being here. It is my gratitude to the God of my understanding that I need to talk about. Not only that, but also my introduction to the Second Step by my old sponsor, which opened the door to this spiritual way of life and my faith in my Higher Power.
When I think about this all the time, it opens my gratitude to the God of my understanding and all those in here, who have helped me to grow up away from my alcoholism. And all of this is what I have learned in here, and the hope, faith, and love I have been given. The peace of mind and compassion I have received. How all of this has helped me to not only help myself, but to also freely give to others, what was so freely given to me.
I know that I have to stay and live sober one day at a time. Even though I am aware of my time in here, my focus is always on this day every day. I’m not to project into the future. That can very well be a great danger. I’ve seen what it has done to some in here over time. Not good.
I know I might have turned some off at our meeting, but for me it is what is most important. Everything else in my life is a direct result of my being able to stay sober each and every day so far.