In the 9th step the first sentence in the 12&12 begins with the word “prudence”. I remember reading somewhere that prudence was the queen of virtues. One thing I knew I lacked, after I got here, was any sense of prudence. Whether it was in my speech or my actions. I frequently was guilty of shooting from the hip, without any regard for those around me.
Eventually, through the guidance of Tom, my sponsor, I slowly began to put prudence in my life. His caution to me was to do what was appropriate. He taught me that there were consequences for my actions. You can guess that I was highly inappropriate in many of my affairs. That would have been an understatement. I really had no idea how to live life. It was through the examples and the direction of others that I began to learn how to do life. How to live and act prudently.To weigh things in the balance and make my decisions and follow through before I acted or spoke.
How often I can forget those lessons. I can still speak and utter things before I engage my brain. When I was drinking I had all the wisdom of a 5 year old. I went places and did things which should have cost me my life. Proof positive to me that there is such a thing as divine intervention in our lives.
I was thinking about prudence today, when speaking or better listening to a young woman after a meeting. She was telling me about this wonderful job she had, where she loved working with all these wonderful people. The problem was it hardly paid for her living expenses and her two small children. I can remember being in the same circumstances a lot of years back. The job and the work was exactly how she phrased it. But so was the reward for time and effort. I could hardly meet my monthly rent. I could hardly pay for the gas to get to work. Yet I didn’t want to give it up.
At some point, prudence has to be injected into our lives to save us from ourselves. I didn’t say that to the woman. It wouldn’t have been prudent. But I do know that I have to say these things to myself. At some point, at any point, in living the way I did, I could have very well sunk down into despair and picked up a drink. I was not acting wisely and not only questioned my way of life. At least asked for wise counsel from someone else and found direction out of that situation and into something more appropriate. Self will run riot comes to mind.
If I am to stay sober, prudence has to come into my life and remain there. I have to find a way, usually through the reminders at the meetings and talking to others, to apply this virtue to my life on a daily basis. The 9th step asks us to employ prudence so that we won’t go into our amends half cocked and headed for disaster. So too with the rest of my sober life. It’s a great tool to remain that way.
Thinking and seeking ways to put prudence into action. Why? To stay sober.
8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time