If you had told me years ago that I would be talking about love, I would have told you that you were crazy. Love was on my short list. I hated that word, mainly because I had no concept of what it meant. Oh, not that I was ignorant of definitions, but its true meaning escaped me. As long as I was drinking, nothing connected with love came close to me.
Why is love so important to our sobriety. Well, for one thing, the BB tells us that love and tolerance is our code. In other words, that’s what AA stands for. And that’s what I know I must stand for and a standard I need to meet on a daily basis.
Do I? I’m not sure. Recently a friend of mine sent me a daily reading with the subject of love. It said to do something loving for others. At the time I must have been dozing, because the subject woke me up. Since that day, it has been on my mind. I think about it often. What was I doing before?
Seems to me I read something that Bill wrote about us. He said that when we were out there that we loved but few, were indifferent to many, and hated the rest. Then he wrote about us, now that we’re sober, that everyday was a day, when we must play the good Samaritan. Tall order for someone like me.
Change is the name of the game. I like to think of it as “changing”. I know I have changed, but have learned over time that nothing stays the same. Not even me. I’m either going forward or backward, but never standing still. It’s not where was I yesterday, but what am I doing today.
If I truly don’t want to drink again, I’d better be doing something which will open me to the help from above. Or within. But not me.
Love and tolerance. I’m working on that. Not an easy job. Everyday presents its challenges. How am I doing? Ask the people I live with and go to meetings with. Ask the people I talk to everyday. They know better than I do.
Anyway, this is what I have been thinking about.