This thing about acceptance, which we hear and read about in this program, can sometimes be a hurdle at which I know I sometimes tend to balk. I’ve tripped over it many times along the way.
When I think about it, acceptance is lying around everywhere. It can seem overwhelming at times. At least to me. Not just the program, which took a lot for me to accept in its entirety, but in all of my affairs. I guess that is the program. All of my affairs.
One thing, which has made it a little bit easier is something my sponsor told me a long time ago.
He said that I might have to accept something, but that didn’t mean I had to like it. At least that gave me permission to go ahead and grumble about whatever. And I have done a lot of grumbling over the years.
How many times I have run into others and been really ticked off at their attitudes or ideas, or actions and had to swallow my temper and try to practice tolerance and to put understanding into action. I was never a patient man, when I came in. And learning to practice patience under any and all circumstances was really a test for me from the beginning. But over time, practicing, practicing, practicing, I have come to a place where I can be at peace with myself and others and generally, not always, let things go right on by me.
The thing which gives me the incentive to put acceptance into my life, where it was never before, is the thought of a drink. In other words my bottom. I never want to go back there, ever. Just that thought is enough to keep me on track. It’s not about being good or even sprituality itself. But the truth is that as long as I learn to practice acceptance I have found that I really am growing along spriritual lines. Imagine that. And, I still don’t have to like it. However, I have learned that it is okay.
I guess I can accept that. Anyway, I get a lot of help, when I see others having a hard time with this. For some strange reason it helps me to accept what’s going on around me. Today there was a commotion going on in our meeting. It was greatly distracting to everyone in the room. I made up my mind that I would simply pay attention to those who were called on and I saw people stand up in anger and leave the room. I didn’t blame them, but, as I said, for some reason that helped me to stay with it.
I was thinking about this, when I got home. I also thought about all those who stayed in the room with me and the disturbance. I know they didn’t like it either. Whether people stayed or left there are no saints. Just a bunch of alcoholics staying sober the best way we can.