One thing I know, which is not always described the way I think, is the subject of gratitude. How often I think about gratitude amazes me. It’s one of the things I know I’m obligated to do, considering all that has been given to me.
I know, when I look back at what has happened, that I definitely owe so much gratitude that it’s almost impossible to express it. After all I was enslaved by alcohol. Could not stop drinking no matter how hard I tried. And yet I was given hope (another need to be grateful), which made me stop and pray.
I mean here I was on the verge of suicide, and someone told me that there was a place where people stayed sober together and if I wanted to go there they would take me. So, here I was on the edge, and I begged God to stop me from drinking, and it came true. Alcohol was gone and really has never come back. Talk about miracles.
And then I come into the program and, without knowing it, I had surrendered to that First Step. Then I was introduced to the Second Step, which opened the door to the rest of this program. That was the beginning of trying to live a spiritual life and have a Higher Power. And that’s what happened. Another gift of grace.
Following all of this is the rest of this program. Not an overnight event. Time took time, as it is said. However during that time I was gifted over and over again. I mean I was not only given a spiritual awakening, I was also restored to sanity, and the all the Promises.
So, here I am today thinking about gratitude. I know I can always say “Thank you, thank you, thank you”, and they’re just words. In fact I know when I either want to do this, or do it, that there are often not enough in the feelings. I know what I have to do is to live gratitude. And that’s what this program gave to me. The ability to be grateful in my way of life. That’s what my old sponsor and those old timers so freely gave me. The gift of this program so that I could also freely give it to others. Not just by words, but by example.
I mean I know that just by staying sober a day at a time each and everyday I’m showing someone, who needs it, that this program actually works. And by doing this I am trying to help others to also live this way of life. Do I know this? No, but it’s what I think I need to do each and everyday to express my gratitude.
So, tonight I’m pausing long enough to remind myself of why I am here, with the hope that just by doing this I’m being grateful to my Higher Power, this program, and all of those who have so graciously helped me to grow and live this sober way of life.