Here it is the eve of a holiday and a lot of talk about it. That’s not what I learned in here. I was shown how I am to deal with these. And that was just a day at a time. Nothing about the day after today. I was shown what I needed. And that was that today is the only day I have. Tomorrow is going to be another day like today. But that’s not here yet. I have to focus on this day. To stay sober a day at a time.
One of the things I learned about all of this was that I was not to project into tomorrow or any of the future. I found out for myself, with the help I was given, that projection leads to danger for an alcoholic like me. I can get caught up in negative emotions, fear, anxiety, despair, anger, and the possibility of a drink. I learned not to go there. It was part of the process I was learning to put my intellect over my emotions. “Eye” over “E”.
However I do know from my own experiences that I can get caught up in my humanity. Like the BB tells us, we’re not saints. We’re alcoholics and have to learn how to deal with ourselves. When I find myself stumbling and tumbling into my defects I have stop and ask my Higher Power for help. I need to change and get back into practicing a day at a time to stay sober.
Over time in here I have gotten the help I have needed to step back and let the world pass me by. I have found what I have needed, and that’s to settle down and experience peace, serenity, a new happiness (9th Step), and to grow in gratitude. If I do that, I have found from time to time that I can practice the Twelfth Step. Freely giving what was freely given to me.
Anyway I needed to stop and think about all of this. A reminder to never forget why I am here. I need to have that before my thoughts. To stay sober this day. I know if I do that my life grows in peace and harmony. If I forget I can find myself filled with commotion. It is a lot easier doing what I was told to do. And that was to place myself as number one. As my old sponsor’s widow pointed out to me that no one can stay sober for me. Only I can do that, so I have to remember this always. I need to go to meetings and share and listen. I have to be part of this program and participate. I have to focus on growing along spiritual lines, Not always easy, but doable.
I’m glad that I”m here and that I’m able to do what I need to do. Owe all of that to this program, Those old timers, who taught me what I needed to do this. To acquire a Higher Power, and faith and hope and love. Anyway I need to stop and give thanks for all I have been given.