One of those subjects I rarely hear is the word “Peace”. Today was a day where we’re in the middle of a wild snowstorm. I live up North, so it’s not a surprise for us, but it does pretty much keep us indoors.
Anyway I could not really get out and had to miss today’s meeting. I had already started my day concentrating on staying sober. Eventually I was able to slip into meditation. And it was in there that the word Peace came up.
I found peace in this program, after I got sober and came in. It didn’t happen overnight. I had a lot of junk I had dragged through the door with me, after years of being a practicing alcoholic. I had control issues I had to learn to let go of. I kept stumbling over my huge ego. Truth wasn’t at the top of my agenda. Plus the fact that I was totally immature. I don’t think I had ever grown up, even though I was approaching middle age. I was too focused on me and all of my junk.
I had gotten a sponsor to quiet some old timers down. He had ten years in, but went back out and drank again and died quickly after. It was part of a wake up call for me. My next sponsor, who became my old sponsor, took over and knocked me back, and woke me up. He helped me focus on why I was here, and then opened the door to the spiritual way of life in here through that Second Step.
Over time in here I eventually worked my way through the Steps. And it was in that Ninth Step that I hit a point where I was restored to sanity and became aware of a spiritual awakening. And that was the gift of peace I received. I never want to forget that. However it didn’t happen overnight. Like they say in here: Time takes time. A lot of time.
I say that because time is still going on. I’m not even close to achieving this program. And I don’t think any of us do. It takes the end of our lives to reach the cure for my chronic alcoholism. However the program itself has made a big difference in my life. Peace is just one of the gifts I have been given. The new happiness, which has become part of my life is just another gift I have received.
The freedom from drinking alcohol is the greatest gift I was ever given. I never want to forget that. Surrendering to that First Step was the beginning. I was helped to change my mind and my views of about everything. I came in and never wanted to drink ever again. I learned that I only have to do this a day at a time. And I learned how generous my Higher Power is in helping me to stay sober and change my life. That and the program itself and the people in it belong on my list of gratitude.
Anyway I was experiencing so much peace today that I had to stop and think about it.