Getting along with others, or learning to, was part of the meeting today. At least that was what hit me. It made me go back to the beginning in this program. I had come here with a lot of problems. And one of them was fear of others and not wanting to be related or making friends. I just wanted to be left alone. And I didn’t feel I could learn anything more than I already knew.
I definitely was completely in the dark. After all, as I have often admitted, I really had never grown up. I was, as was stated to me, immature, insecure, and oversensitive. But that wasn’t all. I was definitely unable to see just how dishonest I was. Nor did I really know how angry I was. How fearful I was. And, though I had begun my life to grow along spiritual lines, I had lost that along the way. Alcohol had totally ruined me.
Fortunately those old timers in here were the ones who opened the door for me. And one of them, the man who became my old sponsor, stepped into me. I was told that I needed to wake up. Again, he told me how lacking in knowledge I was. I was going to have to change and begin to listen, as well as get rid of what I thought I knew.
I had to wake up to the fact that I had been given hope. And then it was the Second Step, which opened the door to faith for me. I was able to begin to live a spiritual way of life. I also began to believe in a Higher Power and gradually trust Him. And that started the journey to live a day at a time and stay sober.
Today, as I look back, I am truly amazed. How this program has changed me. Makes me full of gratitude for all I have been given in here, as a result of my changing from what I once was, and what I have become, as what I have learned in here and put into action. And I know I owe it all to my old sponsor, and those old timers. Not only that, but this program itself. On top of that I have been given the grace of my Higher Power. Also I owe so much to those I have come to learn to love and care for, who have helped me.
Just needed to stop and think about all of this and give thanks.