One thing I often forget to talk about is reading AA literature. After all what I know can be found in these books. Mainly the BB and the 12&12. There are others, but these are the basics of this program. I know there are some, who don’t do this. If they are reading it’s not so much AA but other things.
I know that I can find myself doing this almost everyday, because I need to do this. Not that I haven’t learned, but how often I can find my mind wandering off. That’s when I know I need to get back to the basic literature. I know what my old sponsor told me back near the beginning. He told me that he didn’t want me to read the BB. He said that I had to study it. And, after a while I began to understand why he told me this.
First of all he had told me a long time ago that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. He must have said it at a time when I was beginning to wake up, because I knew it was true. Plus he told me that I also had fallen far short of what I had needed to learn in my studies. I had no argument with that. I needed to wake up.
And that’s exactly what the BB and the 12&12 did for me. I stopped sleep walking in here and began to listen and learn. Today I look back and see passages and parts I had read, which opened doors for me. So that’s why I always need to stop and read these at least once a day. And it always helps when someone comes and asks me about what they had just read. We can sit down and talk it over. If no one else is helped, I am.
Anyway I just needed to stop and think about all of this. For now, at least. Makes me grateful for all the help I have received from these. I can remember talking to my sponsor on and off about what I was learning and got what I needed. And today, whether talking to someone or not, I still get what I need. Makes me feel great that I’m staying sober a day at a time. The gift of all the benefits I have received still arises when I am reading. And when I get a chance to pass this onto others it helps me to know that I have learned what I needed to know. And I hope the same for someone else.
I had to stop today and think about this gift I was given in here and how much it has changed my whole life. I need to thank my old sponsor, this program, and those, who have helped me along the line. And I must also thank my Higher Power for all of what I have been given.