When I think about this, it still amazes me. There came a time in my life, when a pain woke me up. I often talk about this. What was it that made me aware of what was wrong with me. And it was inner pain. That got me to surrender and begin to give my alcoholism to my Higher Power. To surrender. I did and the alcohol was removed.
Didn’t mean that I changed immediately. Time took time. But when I came into this program I was helped to begin to put this program into action in my life. I can look back and see what these things I went through to begin to change were often difficult. I had to learn how to get honest. I had to learn to put my ego aside and to start to practice a spiritual way of life.
The reason I brought this up is what happened recently. I was addressing a new person. I told them what happened in this program, which woke me up. That was two people I knew, who had time in here, who went back out drinking again and died. They were driven there because of their resentments. The one who heard this suddenly had a reaction. It told me of the pain they were going through and part of this was their resentments and their fear of what I had said. My hope was that this pain would do the same for them that it did for me. To ask for help and receive it. I did and it changed me.
One of those things I know from talking to others, was how important inner pain was. It helped change us. A lot of them have responded to this over time. And over time, I changed and found true happiness. I found a new way of life filled with peace. In fact I can remember, while doing amends, I was restored to sanity and received a spiritual awakening. Can never forget those moments.
All this makes me grateful. Each and every day I wake up I spend that day, today, staying sober just for this day. Talk about a wake up call. I can remember my sponsor and other old timers telling me that I’m to remain present in this day and not to project into the future. To stay here. Once I trip over myself and project into the future I find myself filling up with negative emotions…one of which is resentments.
Anyway I know that I need to go to meetings, to listen and share. To give to others what was given to me. To be thankful to my Higher Power, this program, the old timers, who helped me, and all those around me, who continue to help me each and everyday to stay sober.