Today my thoughts were controlled by what the group was talking about. A lot of it was humorous, and some confusing or negative. Anyway, all my thoughts.
As the conversations went on, I found my mind being reminded of what I had to learn in the past. Quite a few years back. I had discovered that my mind was being run by negative emotions. I didn’t recognize that at first, but my old sponsor did, as well as other old timers, all of whom wanted to help me. Those negative emotions were what were running my mind while I was out there drinking. I was shocked by this, but also recognized that I needed help. It was pointed out to me that I desperately needed help, or else I might end up out there drinking again.
Anyway I had to become conscious of this daily and learn how to change my thinking from the negative to the positive. And I was helped how to do this…if I wanted to stay sober. And that was where I was made conscious of the Second Step. The spiritual way of life and a relationship with my Higher Power, both of which I found I desperately needed. And I began.
Over time in here I began to learn how to change my way of thinking. All this especially in working these Steps, and beginning to put these Steps into a spiritual way of life. This is a lot of where my mind went today at this meeting. I knew that I could agree with a lot of what was being said, but I didn’t want to step in and necessarily change what was going on, unless I felt directed to do so.
And when the leader finally called on me, I tried to keep my thoughts brief. I told them that I was a positive not a negative thinker, who has a positive attitude. That’s when I described my beginning my day, by looking in the mirror and making ridiculous funny faces, saying, “You klutz you’re nutz!”. And that’s when I stopped with myself and them laughing for the most part.
Anyway I stopped after the end of the meeting and began to talk to some, who were needing some help. Made me grateful.