I was reminded this morning by a good friend of mine how important that word commitment is. It’s easy for me to say to someone, “Don’t drink and keep coming to meetings!”, when someone is struggling with the urge to drink and use. That’s easy for me to say, because I’ve been sober a long time and don’t have that crisis going on in my life. But what about the other person who does suffer from the urge?
It’s not that I don’t remember how that was. I do. How maddening it must be for them, though. They’re listening to my words. Words coming from someone, who seems to have all the security in the world, while they’re fighting the physical and mental obsession. We’ve all had those moments in our lives. How did we ever get through those times?
I remember how it was for me. I also remember how I was helped by my sponsor. He simply asked me a question. To what lengths was I willing to go to get sober? In other words, was I ready to commit myself to this simple program?
He used the analogy of the swimming pool. He said I could walk all around the pool, dipping my toe in to test the temperature. I could do that the rest of my life, but it still would take me back to a drink. He said it was one thing to test the water and another thing to jump into the pool. Dr. Sam Shoemaker used another analogy. He talked about going down to the train station and standing around with others talking about the trip we were going to make. But it wasn’t until we boarded the train that we would finally take that trip.
The truth is that it doesn’t matter how we feel. It matters what we do. If we truly want to stop drinking and drugging, we’re going to have to make a decision and then act on it. I was always making my mind up that I was going to stop drinking. I never did. But the minute I was presented with what this program offered to me and accepted it as the way to go, the fight was over. I no longer had to figure out what to do about my drinking problem. It was solved the minute I surrendered to the program, as it was presented to me. Even though I really knew very little about it. Drinking had ruined my life. But here was a chance to turn it all around. I could see the examples of all the ex drunks sitting around the rooms. If they could do it, maybe there was a chance for me. I jumped into the pool, even with all the misgivings I had. I’ve never regretted that decision. It was the very best thing I’ve ever done with my life.
I was sitting here thinking about this. I was reminded of the commitment I made so long ago and thinking how I must renew this commitment every day. It’s worked for me then and it still works for me today.