I remember our old friend Sandy B., talking about sprituality and the program a while back. Early on in his talk he told about his thinking and actions when he was in early sobriety. Everything seemed to be going wrong in his life. His sponsor asked him as series of questions. Was he beginning to work the steps? No. How about prayer? No. What about meditation? No. Was he reading the BB or spiritual material? No. There was a pause and his sponsor asked him the last question. How’s it going?
I could identify with that kind of “conversation”, especially in my early time in AA. By the time two years rolled around, my sponsor could have asked me the same questions and the final one. In fact he was new to me at that time. I had been sponsored by a man, who had recently gone back to drinking and eventually died from that escapade. What he said was that I had a choice: I could go out and join my old sponsor or I could get sober. What was my choice? Of course I chose to get sober. He could have asked, How’s it going? Not good that was for sure.
But I think that question could be asked at any given time, I think of what my answer would be. For the most part, pretty good. The life I have is very good. In fact, just having life is a miracle, considering I should have been dead back when I came in. But there are times along the way, when I found myself stalled by my character defects. Sometimes I have come to a standstill, going up the down escalator. And, you can guess what happens when you stop moving upwards on a down escalator.
Thankfully there are all these people around us in the program, who are continually giving us a hand up along the way. There are those voices, who speak such wisdom to us and encourage us to keep moving along the path. There’s also the second step and the solution of choosing to open ourselves up to putting a higher power into the picture. No longer relying on my own unaided strength alone. That had completely failed for me. I needed and still need all the help I can get.
Like Sandy and his sponsor, my sponsor, and all those sober men and women came to know, this program is not one of just sitting in meetings and waiting for the sobriety of all those who went before us, to rub off on us. If I want to stay sober and get the benefits this program offers to us, I have to take action. And those actions are to be found in the steps our founders gave to us so freely and generously.
How’s it going? This day? Good. Thanks to you all and the God of my understanding. And this day is all I have.
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