One of the most important events, which this program makes available to someone like me, is moments of sharing. What a great gift. I was reminded of this, when an old friend of mine in this program called and was able to empty their mind of years of suffering.
Left to my own devices I can harbor things in my head, which if left there will build into all kinds of junk that can build into anger, resentments, and a whole lot more of emotional storms. Keeping these things to myself, thinking that they are personal and not worth sharing for any number of reasons, should never be left up to me. Very often they can become very damaging as a result.
One of the wonderful things about this program is that the people in it are understanding of where I am coming from. That’s because, if they are working this program also, they have either been through similar situations to be shared with them, or perhaps are going through similar stuff at the same time. I’ve run into both things, both giving and taking, with others.
I also realize that such sharing is not looking for advice or immediate solutions. It’s just having the opportunity to empty out my mind of it’s thoughts and feelings with someone, who, because they have been in a similar place, knows what I’m talking about. They understand. In fact I know that nothing is required of me except to listen. The same with them. My response is often to share like situations. To help smooth out the inner disturbances. Sometimes to let them know what was said to me in these instances. And to express my gratitude that they felt that I would be open enough to listen to them.
As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of a man, many years ago in this program, who really didn’t like me too much. We rarely spoke, except to say “hi”, as we passed each other. Sometimes not even that. Then this man became quite ill and had to receive medical treatment over a long period of time. That’s when the surprise came to me so suddenly. One day my phone rang and it was this man. He was undergoing treatment that day and he felt that if he could talk to me he could bypass the results. So we spent hours on the phone on each of these occasions and a lot was shared. My job through all of this was to listen. After that, when he was better, we became more open with each other and could talk openly with one another. All because of this program.
Of course one of the things I think about is the Tenth Step. How, if nothing else, I can tell someone else where I was wrong. That alone can ease a mental burden out into the open and get rid of it.
Anyway, I was thinking about this after a call I received this morning. Made me go back and be grateful for what has been given to me through this program. Being able to share with those, who understand, and then return the gift to others, when they need to do the same. Part of the love we can give one another in this program. Part of acting out the gratitude I have, whether giving or receiving. A big part in my staying sober. Part of the spiritual solution.
Just being able to think about living sober a day at a time.