Often I go back and think about what it was that began the change in me, after I came into this program. Of course it started with the people in this program. My sponsors and all those old timers. They had a way of helping an alcoholic like myself to begin to change from what I had been to what I am today.
I have to remember how messed up my mind was, as a result of what alcohol had done to me over the years. I really couldn’t think straight. I was stuck into old ideas. Anxiety, fear, anger, resentment…and the list could go on. I didn’t seem to be able to focus on what this program was about. I didn’t want to drink again, but the way my mind would drift from one negative thought to another kept my ears plugged.
That’s when these people in here began to help me to change. And what did they change? With the help of my Higher Power, everything.
I almost had to laugh today, because an old friend of mine in the program sent me a note, which tied in with this. It was a quote from the famous psychiatrist William James. What it said in essence was that, if you are afraid begin to practice changing your mind. Change your thought from fear to courage. Eventually you will find yourself courageous rather than fearful.
The way my sponsor and others put it to me was “Act as if!”. That combined with prayer, for me, began to change the way I thought and acted. It really worked. Act as if. Act as if I wasn’t anxious. Act as if everything was all right. Act as if I was okay. Act as if, act as if, act as if. I did and it worked. It always does. Even today. Right now.
Of course the basis of all of this is the program itself. The Twelve Steps and everything else I have learned in here and put into practice. Funny, I was thinking about this earlier, when all of a sudden my friend’s note came onto the screen. Good thought. Very helpful. Like everything else I’ve learned in here, it will work, if I will work it.
If I want courage, I’ll act as if. If I want peace of mind, I can act as if. Sounds awful simple and it is.
Just another day in living a sober way of life.