One thought came back to me the other day, while talking to a friend of mine. It was about my first meeting in this program. I always remember the room it was in and some of the people. I remember the hope I was given there. But I also remember one old timer, when, at the end of that meeting, he read from a book related to our staying sober.
The book reminds alcoholics like me that my decision to stop drinking and to stay sober is something I’m never to forget. Ever. I need to always remember that.
I know when I came into this program I had totally surrendered to the fact that I was powerless over alcohol. Alcohol had owned me for so many years that I could never stop drinking no matter how hard I tried to stop. Finally, in total despair and suicidal, I was told that there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober together. The man who told me this said he would take me to this place. I was filled with hope and it led to my begging God to stop me from drinking and I would do anything he wanted me to do. And that led to the beginning of freedom from alcohol.
I came into this program with the conviction that I never ever wanted a drink of alcohol again. So the reading got my attention and the thought and words were etched in my mind. In the beginning I think I repeated them to myself. I never wanted to forget why I had come here. What I wanted to do.
I don’t think I have ever forgotten that man reading those thoughts. The truth is, even though they are not present every moment in my mind, the message is still present each and everyday. I realize that, even though I have received so much from this program, the bottom line is always the same. I’m here never to drink alcohol again and to stay sober each and every day of my life.
So, just that moment I took to tell my friend about that first meeting and that old timer reading those thoughts about never ever drinking alcohol again and the importance of my staying sober kind of woke me up to that beginning in here and exactly how important those words are to this chronic alcoholic. I need never to forget them. I need always, each and everyday, to remind myself of exactly why I am here.
I know that it is hazardous for this recovering alcoholic to become complacent and casual about why I am here. My attention must always be focused on not drinking and staying sober. And I know that I have to go to meetings and hear this very thing on a regular basis. I realize that I cannot afford to think I can stay sober by myself. I need the reminders others can give me. I am so grateful for the people in this fellowship, who constantly remind me of why it is that I am here. Not to drink and to stay sober.
Finally, I was thinking how important it was that my old sponsor introduced me to the Second Step and my Higher Power and this spiritual way of life. For me it is just the kind of support I cannot do without. It is what has kept me in line, when it comes to my living a sober life. It gave me what I lacked in my life. The strength I so desperately needed.
Anyway, I just needed to stop and think about this today. In fact each and everyday. When I think that I can only stay sober one day at a time, I have to then remember that the one day I have is to be concentrated on those thoughts. It always makes me grateful that my old friend who read that was present to present that to this alcoholic. It’s what I needed. And it makes me grateful to my Higher Power, the program, and the people in here who have helped me.