Back when I came in, my first meeting, an old timer read something from a book, which talked about our keeping the moment of surrender to our being powerless over alcohol in the front of our mind. It asks us can we ever afford to forget that decision for even one minute?
The funny thing is that after all this time that thought is still there. I really have never forgotten it. That doesn’t mean I walk around with that thought in the front of my mind. But what is there is my thinking about staying sober a day at a time. Almost the same thought really, because I still never want to ever drink again. And, I never want to forget that.
The reason that came up today was that this was our monthly meeting where we bring up anniversaries of individuals getting sober. One of these brought up that thought above. They had the same reading done when they came in. For both of us the right thought to be presented to those just like us. Who made a decision never to drink again.
In fact everyday I try to stop and go back and think about my being able to stay sober one day at a time. Part of that thought is about just that. Never to forget why I came here. To always remind myself of this each day. To go back and think about what it was that worked in my life to stop me from drinking and what it is that helps keep me sober a day at a time.
Like everyone in here, who attends meetings regularly, I know that I cannot do this by myself. I need the help I can get from alcoholics like myself. I know that I have been blessed in here with the physical freedom from alcohol and been restored to sanity. I know I stopped fighting everyone and everything, even alcohol. I know I have had that spiritual awakening and have been placed in a position of neutrality as far as alcohol is concerned. That’s the physical side of this disease.
And that brings me to this business of trying to never forget my decision to never drink again. Why? Because what is left of my disease after the physical part is the rest of me. My mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect of myself. The human part of this disease. I still have my will left. My being able to make choices. My being influenced by my emotions. My having to remember the spiritual side of this program. Not natural for someone like me, regardless of my background. What is natural are all these things I dragged in with me into this program. The very things I try to change on a daily basis. My faults.
This is why I stopped to think about my sobriety today. My defects. The human side. I’m not a saint that’s for sure. I need to come to meetings and talk with others like myself, who are just like me. I need to be reminded to do what it is I need to do on a daily basis. To work this program and to remember I have to depend on the help I can get from my Higher Power. To pray and meditate each and everyday. To be open to reaching out and helping others like myself. In other words to practice the spiritual principles in this program in all of my affairs.
Anyway just wanted to remind myself to never forget even for a minute the decision I made, when I asked the God of my understanding to stop me from drinking alcohol and that is exactly what happened. I never want to forget that…ever. Makes me so grateful.