This was a day that I was reminded of what has been on my mind for a period of time in here. A statement I read in a book on spirituality. It stated that there are only two “problems” in our lives. Things we want and can’t have and things we want and have. Not exact words.
I still think about this over and over again. Letting it sink in. The reason I’m doing this is that I have listened to and followed the author for many years. He knows all about this program and how it works. Enough of that.
I guess why I went into all of this today is I have been talking to quite a few fairly recently and it’s been all about spirituality and its effect on people like ourselves. And that reminded me of what I have learned a little from this man mentioned. His name is Anthony De Mello.
Again, enough of that. I have been struck by the openness of those I have talked to, and who have shared with me. It has helped open my own mind and heart. After all, as I learned in here, this is what we need to do to stay sober a day at a time. Either at meetings or outside of them.
I “grew up” this way in this program, with the help of those old timers back when I came into this program. Fortunately for me they were tough enough to cut me down to size and open my heart and my mind. They knew how hard it would be for me, because of my over sized ego, my immaturity, insecurity, and over sensitivity. Not to forget my dishonesty.
All of this took a lot of time. Like I was told, this is not an overnight event. Time takes time. But during all this time I was given a lot of help by the sober alcoholics in this program. And, of course, I had a lot of examples of those, who went back out, drank again, and the death of many of these. A wake up call for someone like me.
On top of all of this I was reminded again today that I’m not a saint. I’m just another human alcoholic. I have my difficulties, which will come up and trip me up from time to time. But I learned how to handle all of this from my old sponsor, who told me that when I tripped up, I was to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep on keeping on.
All of this reminds me that I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. Not to go into the future, but to stay in the now, where my feet are. Also not to drift back into the past and end up in the negative attitudes about what’s ahead of us. So, I’m to stay right here.
All of what I have been given has not only changed my life, it makes me grateful. I owe so much to my Higher Power, my old sponsor, and everyone in here. Not to mention the program itself. Thanks.