One of those things, which came to mind this week, was love. I don’t mean romance. I mean caring for others.
When I came into this program, I didn’t have any of this. For one thing, I was untruthful, and for the most part didn’t have a clue. So, being able to be open with others wasn’t in my life. In fact, I really didn’t want to listen to others. I thought I knew it all. I was willing to run my mouth.
One of the things, which began to change all of this, were those old timers. They put up with a lot with me. Yet, on the other hand, they stepped in and taught me that I needed to listen and begin to put this program into action. Fortunately for quite a few of us, who were new, there were no rehabs back then. No hospitals willing to dry alcoholics out. So, we weren’t being guided by “counselors”, who taught those under them that they had already worked the program and didn’t need to listen to those, who knew how this program really works, and what it is we need to do. I see too much of that these days. People coming in, who think they know everything and don’t have to listen to those who know.
Anyway, all this began to change gradually. I had already surrendered to that First Step. What I needed, though I probably denied it, was help. And that’s where my old sponsor and others were willing to shut me up and tell me the truth. And part of that was the Second Step, which opened the door to the rest of this program. It introduced me to my Higher Power and the Spiritual way of life. And I began to change…gradually. A day at a time.
And part of what I was learning was to begin to change, as far as people went. It wasn’t all about me I discovered. It was about helping others like myself. In fact I began to listen to others and that was what helped me to begin to grow close to some of these. I had to begin to care. I developed an open mind over time.
I became willing to share and to receive sharing from others. I began to work with others in putting this program into action. But it also began to develop an open relationship with others. And they returned the gift we had all been given in here. I began to feel close and willing to go to any lengths to help others like myself. Not just the Twelfth Step, but to open my mind and my heart.
Anyway, I had to stop and think about this, because I have been made aware by others how, not only how much they care for me, but how much I care for them. They are in my thoughts and prayers. And they remind me of why I am here. I hope I do the same for them. We’re here to stay sober a day at a time and be willing to go to lengths to help them. And to be open to accept their help.
I am so grateful for all I have been given. I need to express my gratitude to my Higher Power, the program itself. My memories of my old sponsor and those old timers. And then my friends, who have gone to any lengths to reach out to me. And I need to stop here and say “Thanks”.