Part of the discussion today was people, places, and things. Something which seemed to be weighing heavily on one of our members. And, of course, there was the problem of the effect Christmas was having on some of the people in here today.
When it comes to the first problem, I always go to the Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change…ever. I learned that a long time ago and got a lot of help from my old sponsor. And, of course, my Higher Power. What helped me the most were my experiences. I was able to put my ego and pride aside and accept the fact that changing others was out of my control. I had to learn to step back and often walk away, rather than challenging others, or other things, over which I have no control.
However, I also had to learn that there was something I could change, and that was me. But, like the prayer said, I had to have the courage to change me. And that’s where I had to get help from others, like my sponsor, and very definitely my Higher Power. And, I learned, that I could and have, when I was able to surrender and let go of trying to control the uncontrollable.
Then, the other thing, Christmas. I look back at what helped me to deal with that and not be controlled by this. Once again this program and my old sponsor and others definitely helped me. It all began in the beginning, when I surrendered and was relieved of alcohol. At first, when I thought I knew what I was doing, I had decided I would never ever drink again. Thankfully my sponsor and many others helped me to stop thinking that way.
They helped me to concentrate on the present moment. I was told that I was to concentrate on staying sober a day at a time. I had to also learn that I was not to project my thoughts or feelings into the future, but to stay in the day. I learned from bad experiences, the minute I let my mind drift off into the future, I would end up being overwhelmed by negative emotions and ideas.
So, overtime in here, I have learned to focus on where I am and not to go any further. The problem is that I am not only and alcoholic, but human. As the BB point out to us that we are not saints. And the result is that I can find myself drifting back into the past, as I find myself projecting into the future. And of course I have to stop and start my day over again, and again, and again. And, as my sponsor and others pointed out to me, I can find myself stumbling, bumbling, and fumbling around and need to learn to pick myself up and keep on keeping on. The Steps. Prayer. And helping others.
I was grateful that I could stop and think about all of this today. Again, as always I try to keep myself reminded of why I am here. I’m here to stay sober this day. I am grateful to my Higher Power, the program, and the people in here, who have freely given to me what I definitely need.