One of those things, which used to make my life a living hell, was my inability to get along with other people. And, when I came into this program, free of alcohol, I was unpleasant to others and didn’t want to make friends with anyone.
But that changed for several reasons. One of these was my old sponsor introducing me to the Second Step, but also telling me that I didn’t know what I was doing. So his statements and the spiritual life I was introduced to, my Higher Power, helped me to begin to change. I discovered that I had negative feelings…anger, anxiety, resentments, and much more. I began to use prayer and sometimes absence of thoughts. Meditation or contemplation, which I had begun years before, but alcohol had cut me off.
One of those thoughts I needed had been given to me around the same time in here. And that was what has helped so many alcoholics in here. And that’s the Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change. And for me that was other people, places, and things. The only thing I can change, I found out, was me. And that means I had to learn to depend on and have faith in my Higher Power, and others in this program, like my old sponsor. Sharing and learning from them. Growing in hope that I could change, and coming to believe that I would.
Another thought began to grow within me, along with hope and faith, and that was love. Something alcohol had cut me off from in my life. I had to begin to trust others and grow close in friendships. And I did. Two people, I met early on in their growing in sobriety, became my first friends. That was a long time ago, and we still are close friends, who love each other. The three of us still seek to share and grow along spiritual lines even today. And they both live in different states, far away from me. I have more today, but these two continue to show me what it was the three of us learned in here.
Anyway, I was listening to others and beginning to think about this in my life. My growing in love of others. And, of course, that Twelfth Step was given to me by those old timers, who were dedicated in freely giving to alcoholics like me, which helped me to begin to grow in the ability to freely give what was given to me. And, basically, I began to learn that I would not only begin to care for newcomers and others, but I would share what I was doing one day at a time. And that was to spend the day staying sober. I was not to leave my present situation and project into the future. I was to stay where my feet were at each moment. Nor was I to drift back into the past and relate all the negative to what was ahead of me.
So, here I am once again, trying to think and remember why I am here, to stay sober, and to put this program into action in my life. And one of those things was for me to attend meetings on a regular basis. To listen and learn and share my own experiences in here. And that includes my gratitude for all I have been given.