We talked about attitudes and relationships today. Heard a lot of good things. I didn’t talk, but had a lot of thoughts about this. Actually positive. Things I learned from my sponsor and old timers and some friends in here. Makes me grateful for all I have been given.
One of the dangers in our attitudes is getting resentments, going back out and drinking again. I witnessed not only the drinking but the deaths, which followed. Things I never want to forget. They helped to change my attitudes.
One of those things I learned in here was the spiritual axiom in the Tenth Step. That whenever we’re disturbed there’s something wrong with us. I never want to forget that, because it takes the blame off others and helps me to get honest with my thinking. I’m the problem and not others. And that leads me back to what I learned early on.
And what that was is the Serenity Prayer. I cannot change others. I have to learn that and pay attention. What others think or do has nothing to do with me. It’s their thoughts and choices. Not mine. I need to know that and do what the prayer tells me. I first have to accept I’m not in charge. I then have to learn to deal with me. That Tenth Step axiom. I have to learn what I need to change. And what’s that? It’s me.
Stepping back and learning to take charge of myself requires my getting honest. And it also means that I have to ask for the help I need to stop, think rationally and objectively, and ask my Higher Power, and others, what I need to do to change my attitude. I have to learn to be positive. To step back and let others be themselves and not me.
The courage to change the things I can…myself. And that means I have to learn the wisdom it talks about. And that’s knowledge about myself. What it is I need to learn to do. Left to my own devices, I know I can mess things up from time to time. I need to learn how to step aside and let go and let the God of my understanding do for me what I definitely need. And I have to learn to care for others.
Anyway I had to stop and think about this. It’s basically part of what it is I need to do to stay sober a day at a time. What I have to do now and not wait for days. It’s why I need to so often talk to someone and listen to their thoughts. I know I can learn a lot. I had someone do that for me a couple of days ago.
All this helps make me grateful for all I have been given. My sobriety and this way of life. Thanks.