One of the hardest things for me to do, when I came into this program, was to focus and try to put this program into action. That was because I thought I knew what I was doing. Thanks to my old sponsor, who replaced my first sponsor, who drank himself to death, I got what I so desperately needed. I needed a very tough direction, which he gave me. And that began the change.
I had to put my thoughts about myself away. Didn’t happen overnight. Like they say in here: time takes time. But at least he opened the door to this program for me. I had to put my over sized ego aside and begin to listen to what I discovered I needed. I had to learn how to get out of my own way. I had to begin to get honest. Again, time took time.
I always worry, when I meet a lot of “new” people in here. I always wonder if they have a sponsor. And then I worry whether their sponsor, like the one I had, has a lot of time in here and is willing to stand back a little bit and be straight and truthful like mine was.
Anyway I was reminded of this today, when a couple of new people were trying to find out how they needed to think about where they were in this program, I know I can’t change people. But it made me think about my experiences in how this program has worked for me.
Today I received an email from a man I met a long time ago, who sent me a picture of another old timer, who died a long time ago. She was a great woman, who helped me and a lot of others I know. I had to sit and think about all she did for me, that helped me to continue to change. It reminded me of how grateful I am. And once again made me hope that these newcomers will be able to find the same kind of help I was given.
Anyway, just needed to think about all this Twelfth Step work and sponsorship. And once again I’m reminded that like all of us, I can only stay sober a day at a time. I began my day this way, To stay sober today, And to be grateful to the God of my understanding for all the help I have been given, and then the people, who carried all of this out for me.